marriage


Today is my 4th wedding anniversary , but we are going through a financially challenging time, so my husband and I both agreed not to spend any money on gifts for each other so I wasn't expecting anything special for today. To my surprise, when I came downstairs this morning, I found a bouquet of the most beautiful wild flowers that my husband had picked from a near by field at 6am. What a thoughtful and beautiful gift!

GENUINE AFFECTION


It’s about that time I usually bid my day a bye with a sigh of satisfaction escaping my closed lips. It doesn’t actually escape, it involuntarily sets itself free. The day has been long and tiring and trying to cope with Eve’s misdemeanor. She is the first of our species to find out that all that glitters are illegal or unworthy. The whole humanity now is painfully toiling in order to pluck the fruits and accord hunger a decent send off.

I slide my tired body, carefully, as if it hurt or afraid to disturb a nocturnal creature who had made a sojourn in my bed, inside my sheets. Relief greeted me, accompanied by a muted sigh as the mind went back to the parting day, assessing the successes and the pitfalls that came along. Lessons appeared triumphant.

The day is never a day-well-spent when you do not wish a dearly beloved a good night. I have had trouble many mornings preceding the nights I slept without bidding her a good night. I forget on purpose (ask any man) but the questions you get the morning after only allow her to make assumptions because I have never answered them satisfactorily. Now am thinking of her. She has brought the real meaning of living, the real feel of love. She genuinely adores me and I do more than her.

As a fumbled with the keys of my phone, trying to mix words, in a bid to come up with a deep poem for her, the phone rang. I smiled as I read ‘sweetheart’ as I had saved her. The ringtone helped increase the pace of my heartbeat. It was a song that drove her to the point of ecstasy, of course after me. So many times she rang me, often when I am trying to text her, or when am reaching for my phone to call her. Love brings forth pleasant coincidence, the kind that you want to happen every day.

I really love her. The joy of my life is to see her happy always. I don’t anything or anybody to harm her because I’m her soldier ready to fight every war that life pit against us. Distance though has robbed us the chance to show the affection eye to eye, hold each other close and our breathes being swallowed by our silent whispers heard far away. She is the realest thing I hold with utmost care like a treasure.

I picked up the phone and her soft voice drove me to world that surpassed the abundance of the bliss heaven had on offer. She tickled me into frenzy with an unsettling sensation going through my body like a ripple. I wanted her there and then. If the urge would have enabled men to grow wings I would have been the first one after Daedalus and Icarus, from the tales we read while growing up.

I listened as she talked making her know I was paying attention. Silence sometimes prompts one to make an inquiry if they are speaking alone or otherwise. What’s more beautiful than being missed by somebody you love? What’s the most awesome thing in the world than being important to somebody and being treasured more than you do to your own self? It’s a feeling that transcends everything.

The lengthy talk is always brought to a denouement by good night wishes and the sweet dreams. The byes aren’t my cup of tea. I always conclude a conversation with a ‘take care’. I never know why but I always want her to great care not dream of nightmares.

As the sound of the phone hanging up came through, I was plunged into my own world. I stared at the text I was about to send; my sweetheart, you are a rare being in the world for showing me what it means to love and I will give you my genuine affection…….it sounds like a teenage love letter but that was the message I intended to pass her, plus a couple of hugs and kisses, toppling with I love you. I drifted off holding my phone.

I woke up in the morning to find everything deleted except GENUINE AFFECTION on the text. I smiled knowing there was more truth than those two words.

Thursday, 13 February 2014

LOVE’S BRIEF REIGN



Its eleven o’clock. Davy stares as customers slowly trickle in. it’s a hotel and Davy works there as a waiter. The Blink hotel. He reads the menu, shaking his head as he thinks of how life would have been had been spending daily on the cheapest meal offered there. He sighs and mutters a thank you to no one in particular. He sometimes feels pain every time a friend or a relative stops by the hotel. His meager salary shall be heavily chopped on that day.
For the brief period he has been there The Blink has been constantly receiving a higher number of people each day. There are regular customers, some of whom he knows by name and many by their faces. Some pass pleasantries each time he attends to them, some have a forlorn look that seems to have been engraved onto their faces.
He is ever busy at this time straight up to two o’clock in the afternoon. Not today. Everything is dragging itself. He should even be busier than any other day owing the absence of Cherono, the chubby waitress. The manager has always delegated her duties to him. Cherono must be having a charm, he thought. How comes when she is not around activities grind to a slow motion? He ponders. He will ask her if she consulted a brave man, may be one of those who advertise themselves on electricity poles, walls of city council toilets or on litter bins dotting the burgeoning town. Or may be its one of those January Mondays.
 Davy rose and stretched himself. He had sat for long and risked numbing his butt. He walked towards the kitchen changed his mind almost abruptly. He made his way back to where he sat. At that instant his eyes caught a girl making an unceremonious entry. He recognized her. She walked in a manner hid the elegance, a trademark to her walk. She was part of a bunch of girls who he served; they were Joy, Lucy and Naomi. He knew the names but had never bothered to know who was who. Girls who ate at the hotel were way beyond his class. Worse still if they are students.
She must be Joy. Every girl he has met with the name joy happened to be as cute as she is. He never knew why. God worked in miraculous ways. And they sometimes acted alone as she, at some point in their lives. He thought as watched her make her way to their favorite table, the one they sat as they giggled merrily at each other. At times they coaxed him to buy them lunch. Each time he turned down their request.
She took out her phone. She swiftly moved her fingers through the keys. She was texting. She wasn’t that beautiful but she was nice to look at. Everything about her was proportionate−a kind of girl whom your friends could say, ‘she is not that bad; chocolate short neatly combed hair, fleshy lips a nose so proportionate to her face, well rounded hips and an awesome smile…………..
“Hey Davy, will you stare at her all day?” it was Cherono’s voice. He didn’t look at her as the smile of guilt took unprecedented reign on his face. He was ashamed. The shame suppressed the urge to know why Cherono was there. People were streaming in like bees. They must have been waiting for her.
For the first time Davy thought of taking her order. He was sure she wouldn’t take ‘their’ usual meal. She was alone. Something was amiss in her life judging from her blank stares that were long and unusual. A stare that spoke of uncertainty, a scary thought or hopelessness. It scared him seeing her in that state.  
“Hi Joy,” Davy found himself uttering a name she wasn’t sure it belonged to her. She beamed with a smile, a smile reminiscent of the many times he served their favourite meal, chapatti and fried beef. His imagination all of a sudden distorted reality as her lips parted and he felt gripped by something beyond his control. Her lips elegantly parted and replaced her haggard look with a bewitching smile. He smiled back. The glitter of her dentures surpassed those shown by toothpaste makers. Davy was submerged in a world of fantasy. He found himself thinking of things he daily warned himself of. It was a good world with her, perhaps even better than heaven. That could be love and nothing else. He was in it for a moment. Would she have a waiter for a lover? He taught a he adjusted the name tag on his soup stained shirt. Cherono had knocked him as he delivered a meal to customer. She paid for it.
“Hi……how did you know my name?” she asked and a cute dimple on her face.
“Pretty girls are always called Joy,” Davy replied without any intention. He was sure about it, not when someone dared him proof otherwise. She blushed absentmindedly, dislodging her earphones from her phone. As she fumbled for a key to stop the music, Enrique Iglesias don’t you forget me wafted through the air. It got swallowed by the clinging cutlery as people drove away their hunger. Only people going through heartbreak listened to such music. And that must have what was tormenting Joy.
“What will you have today? You don’t look you can have your favourite today…….”
“Sure, a glass of mango juice would,” she interrupted.
“On my bill,” Davy said as he disappeared behind the counter and into the serving area. The aroma of simmering food mingled with the feeling of being in love…..the kind that transcended everything worldly. The kind of feeling that a man can reach into his pockets and pay for anything for it to last. He was paying the bill. He couldn’t even believe. He fetched the juice and pranced as a prince ready to assume the throne after an untimely death of his father. Something inside had died and was paving way for another−the reign of love was beginning. He shoved his way through ravenous people rushing to wash their hands.
He looked briefly at her table. She wasn’t there. He looked again and sipped the juice to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. Sure she wasn’t there. He was dismayed. How he to get to was terms with the fact that his was only a brief feeling of love, a brief reign, he muttered as he sipped the juice. It was on his bill anyway. A love never expressed. Another day. 

 It’s early in the morning. Davy makes his way amid the frenzy of school kids hurtling towards their various schools. He wishes he could go back to school and listen to instructions, read harder and get better results, that which won’t insult him. Results insults! He thinks again as he gropes his pockets for a handkerchief. He realized it was torn. He remembered as a sense of bitterness engulfed him that he had put a few coins inside the pocket. That, too, is an insult, he thinks loudly as he wipes his sweaty brow, a sign that he was late. The burly owner who doubled as the cashier would have a field day insulting him. For the umpteenth time he wished he could go back to school. Life had taught the invaluable lesson of not taking anything for granted. It left a trail of regret that seemed to lead to the hangman’s noose.
Life has to go on. It never waits for one to prepare. Those who are ready are carried along and dropped at various destinations. Davy seemed to have been late for life’s ride to the heaven side. He boarded a rickety tuk tuk that broke down along the way and the journey, which he completed by foot brought him here, The Blink Hotel. He waited for the road to clear then crossed with the caution of a school kid. He always thought it never mattered if he was knocked dead by a speeding trailer, only if he wasn’t watchful.
He crossed Luthuli lane and made his way through the narrow allay that led to the building that housed the hotel and other businesses; Njoro’s boutique to the left, Maina’s flower business to the right and Mama Ciku’s fruit stall at the furthest end. The Blink Hotel was left sandwiched between these businesses, an ideal location owing to the number of people passing the street. He crossed another street, Mandela Street, and his caught Cherono’s busty posterior. He guessed she was cleaning, though it was his turn of duty. Njoro’s assistant stared suggestively as Cherono’s endowed ass moved in a manner that titillated. Many have been caught unaware, still and staring at her. Davy guessed she was the reason why men thronged the hotel, with some ending up buying nothing though they stay for long. It wasn’t her fault that she was good looking as she was. He wondered if she earned as meager as he.
Davy noticed Cherono was angered. She completely ignored his greetings mopping the floor more vigorously as before to the amusement of Modo, Njoros assistant. He could him hear whistling way his fancy away, singing Davido’s tune ‘Girl your behind is a killer’. He tried to coax her into telling him what was wrong. As if to tell him not to talk, she flung the mopper towards him. It missed him by inches but the dirty sprinkles of water didn’t miss him. He looked at himself. He couldn’t be allowed to work that way. His blank trouser was better off, the white shirt was not fit to be worn by anyone working near the, manager. He had to find quick solutions before a vacancy notice was pinned on the wall of the hotel. He had witnessed several of his colleagues face the fate. It was not an appealing sight t see a human being begging from somebody who seemed to relish others misery.
He hobbled towards Njoros boutique. He and Modo had shared a cordial relationship. He knew it would take a miracle for him to refuse to give a white shirt on credit. They lived together in the same estate and knew almost everything that went on when darkness takes the reign on the earth.  
“What’s up Modo?” he greeted him with an American accent.
“Am still recovering from her,” he said and shook head.
“Have you never noticed her before?” Davy asked unable to hide his bewildered look. Modo wasn’t looking at him. He was busy shaking his head as took out cloths for display outside the shop. He took out a white one and placed it aside, then proceeded to hang the others that were part of it. All this while he was silent.
“I know you need this,” he said and handed him the shirt. “Even the trouser you can come for it after sometimes,” he jovially added.
“Thanks man,” Davy said as he changed into it. It did fit him quite well, revealing muscular torso nicely. He slipped out of the shop into his work place. He found Cherono arranging the chairs. She didn’t even bother looking up as he made his entry. He too started his duties without being bothered by her. They crossed each other like they were invisible, each evading to have a look at the others face. Davy wondered what wrong he had done to her.
Davy’s big sigh came with unpleasant surprise. The group of girls strutted in with their usual chatter. They owned the place. Even the out rhythm sounds of clinging cutlery could not drown their loud voices. People quenched their hunger except for a few who had fallen culprits of Cherono’s behind. They looked on, ordering nothing until the last customer has left, then afraid of being noticed would slip out silently until peak hours of the evening then they would resurface again with the same motive.
Davy waited to see where they would sit. Their usual one was occupied by an old man busy munching away his bill. He seemed so much engrossed in his own world, unbothered by what happened around him. Lucy, Sheila and joy settled at their table.  He walked towards them, though in normal circumstances he wouldn’t. He knew what their stomachs desired. This time round he had vested interest. He greeted them like a high school kid would to his crush on those one in lifetime outings to a girls school. They responded in unison.
As he thought of the next course of action, of course after inquiring if their menu has changed, the manager’s high pitched voice rented the air, laced with obscenities after mentioning Davy’s name. It spelt trouble. He stopped and asked him to go over to the counter.
“Davy, I didn’t employ you to come and flirt with school girls. Serve them and leave them alone. Look at other customers waiting to be served and all you do is smile like a seasoned lunatic over cheap crap as kids having their meal,“ Davy bowed his head in shame. He wished he could turn deaf to his abuses.  He was lost in thoughts and was woken up when he heard that his salary for the day had been with held indefinitely.
He retreated back. Customers who had heard looked at him with pitiful eyes. He went on serving and delivering bills until there were scanty people in the hotel. What he had heard kept replaying I his mind again and again. If only there was way out, he would have walked and never to look back. That was his only consolation. Cherono would normally have talked him out of his misery as he had done to her on numerous occasions when she was on the receiving end. This time round she seemed to take delight in his sorrow. He could get caught by a reverie only to be woken up by a barrage of insults. Monkey head, idiot, useless human being………he took silently what he was thrown at. He could dare speak a word because he risked putting his only source of livelihood on the edge.
It wasn’t his day, he thought bitterly. Tears would well in his eyes but something suppressed them when they were on the verge of trickling down his face. His colleagues took no notice of him. They didn’t want to risk entangling themselves in his misfortune.
The day went on slowly, as if on vengeance of something or somebody who misused the night. It only prolonged his grief. Davy’s mind was occupied by nothing but distaste for the man he worked for. A glimmer appeared at a distance. The manager’s anger would be fuelled by motive which he was a threat. Would it be the girls or Cherono? It was either of them because he was close to all and that was sufficient to be pushed to the edge. That couldn’t change a thing. If they truly were the source of his tribulation, losing his job was the only suitable solution.
He breathed a sigh as the day broke. It was eleven o’clock, close to midnight when he fell asleep

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LOVE POEMS

I COULD BUT LOVE YOU*

The days gone by hold memories

So much of all those nice stories

Stories of our lives thereafter

Punctuated by your sweet laughter



Walking, talking under the starlit sky

Smiling silently without knowing why

Silent though we got so much to say

Assured that tomorrow would be okay



I love you so much my sweetheart

Like the abundance of sand in a desert

So is my love for you, so real and true

I want to live forever just for you



In the horizon the sun's just turned red

And my tomorrow is but a dread

If by your own, you won't be there

I will die, there won't be any air



*THE AMAZING FEELING*

The buzz of the phone beckons you attention

It's the love of your life trying to reach you

Friends have gotten tired of their mention

Their presence in this world gets you through

Long and stressful days just as the nights

On dark nights they are the light



It's an amazing feeling to find true love

It carries you way beyond imaginable lands

Swifter than the carrier doves

Infinite but it can fit in your hands

The amazing feeling of true adoration

Surpasses everything worth admiration



*BEHIND YOUR EYES*

Sometimes am caught in a day dream

Dreaming of a dream I live everyday

It's been like this since I saw you

You beauty enslaved my imagination

The glitter in your eyes captured me



Every morning I wake up

It's your pretty face that's my alarm

Telling to rise up to see you

You are a true meaning of perfection

Forever I will be glad that are in my life



I wanna have your heart forever

Coz I've given you mine

Do the best with that you can

For you are so perfect

This love is the realest of al I've known



*I SEE ME IN YOUR EYES*

Like rose petals in the morning bloom

You sweep my feet off the ground

And I fly, fly like little bird making no sound

Am flying to get a kiss from you

Your embrace, the next best thing

After the gearless all night embrace

I see the meaning of life in your eyes

I see me and you skin to skin every night

I see life unfolding in your eyes

I see love-true love



*IMMUNE TO HEARTACHE *

I'm staring at the emptiness you absence accords me

It's like all those days when I could fantasies about you

My breath being taken away by what I could see

But your absence is forever, I hoped you were true



I didn't think there would be a day when I could ask you to stay

And that would be asking too much of your precious time

Now I struggle to go through my days trying to keep you at bay

Often I fail, every time, coz forgetting you feels inhumane- a crime



For once in my life I realized what it means to be in love

It means to wait for someone to break your heart while holding on

It means being immune to all things that fall from above

Coz that may hold you from going on straight from dawn