marriage


Today is my 4th wedding anniversary , but we are going through a financially challenging time, so my husband and I both agreed not to spend any money on gifts for each other so I wasn't expecting anything special for today. To my surprise, when I came downstairs this morning, I found a bouquet of the most beautiful wild flowers that my husband had picked from a near by field at 6am. What a thoughtful and beautiful gift!

GENUINE AFFECTION


It’s about that time I usually bid my day a bye with a sigh of satisfaction escaping my closed lips. It doesn’t actually escape, it involuntarily sets itself free. The day has been long and tiring and trying to cope with Eve’s misdemeanor. She is the first of our species to find out that all that glitters are illegal or unworthy. The whole humanity now is painfully toiling in order to pluck the fruits and accord hunger a decent send off.

I slide my tired body, carefully, as if it hurt or afraid to disturb a nocturnal creature who had made a sojourn in my bed, inside my sheets. Relief greeted me, accompanied by a muted sigh as the mind went back to the parting day, assessing the successes and the pitfalls that came along. Lessons appeared triumphant.

The day is never a day-well-spent when you do not wish a dearly beloved a good night. I have had trouble many mornings preceding the nights I slept without bidding her a good night. I forget on purpose (ask any man) but the questions you get the morning after only allow her to make assumptions because I have never answered them satisfactorily. Now am thinking of her. She has brought the real meaning of living, the real feel of love. She genuinely adores me and I do more than her.

As a fumbled with the keys of my phone, trying to mix words, in a bid to come up with a deep poem for her, the phone rang. I smiled as I read ‘sweetheart’ as I had saved her. The ringtone helped increase the pace of my heartbeat. It was a song that drove her to the point of ecstasy, of course after me. So many times she rang me, often when I am trying to text her, or when am reaching for my phone to call her. Love brings forth pleasant coincidence, the kind that you want to happen every day.

I really love her. The joy of my life is to see her happy always. I don’t anything or anybody to harm her because I’m her soldier ready to fight every war that life pit against us. Distance though has robbed us the chance to show the affection eye to eye, hold each other close and our breathes being swallowed by our silent whispers heard far away. She is the realest thing I hold with utmost care like a treasure.

I picked up the phone and her soft voice drove me to world that surpassed the abundance of the bliss heaven had on offer. She tickled me into frenzy with an unsettling sensation going through my body like a ripple. I wanted her there and then. If the urge would have enabled men to grow wings I would have been the first one after Daedalus and Icarus, from the tales we read while growing up.

I listened as she talked making her know I was paying attention. Silence sometimes prompts one to make an inquiry if they are speaking alone or otherwise. What’s more beautiful than being missed by somebody you love? What’s the most awesome thing in the world than being important to somebody and being treasured more than you do to your own self? It’s a feeling that transcends everything.

The lengthy talk is always brought to a denouement by good night wishes and the sweet dreams. The byes aren’t my cup of tea. I always conclude a conversation with a ‘take care’. I never know why but I always want her to great care not dream of nightmares.

As the sound of the phone hanging up came through, I was plunged into my own world. I stared at the text I was about to send; my sweetheart, you are a rare being in the world for showing me what it means to love and I will give you my genuine affection…….it sounds like a teenage love letter but that was the message I intended to pass her, plus a couple of hugs and kisses, toppling with I love you. I drifted off holding my phone.

I woke up in the morning to find everything deleted except GENUINE AFFECTION on the text. I smiled knowing there was more truth than those two words.

Monday, 24 February 2014

Democracy will KILL Raila’s ODM Party, to survive the party MUST keep off democracy.


If you really want to reform or democratize a party, then you better start your own and lets see where democracy will take your party. Parties all over the world tend to be undemocratic. Ruto dumped ODM to start his own “democratic” Kalenjin party URP.
But we all know, that he is yet to even hold elections 2 yrs since he bought it. The man who ran from ODM for what he called lack of democracy is now a self appointed, self anointed Supreme Leader of his own party, at least the Chinese Communist party is a collegiate entity replete with a politburo where decisions are not a one man show . And I don’t blame him. The only way to successfully shepherd a party is to Lord it over.
KANU was Moi item, and even though Moi relinquished it to Uhuru, the latter was still unsettled and was worried about Moi’s shadow in retirement. To succeed, he founded his own “reformed” party, TNA which he runs like a personal or family trust with handpicked and salaried(not elected) officials like Johnson Sakaja and Onyango Oloo.
And Uhuru had trouble taking KANU to where he wanted even after getting the certificate because of this animal called delegates. Assuming I gave you ODM today to make it your party, it would probably take you decades to make it your own political party.
Here’s why. To make any far-reaching decisions you need a delegates conference or a National Governing Council meeting. These people can be manipulated by your predecessor. To call an election you need them, to change the name of the party like ODM to cleanse it of Odinga demons if any, you would need “his existing delegates” to meet and ratify. You would have to call an election, run by a team picked by the delegates. That explains why Uhuru had to be honest and give back the Jogoo party KANU certificate to the Moi family, its owners. The graph to get rid of say older delegates of a like ODM if I took it over today would take the shape of half life graph, for those of you who have done Nuclear Physics or Chemistry, a line that will never touch zero, for an infinite number of years, when you too would be dead. That is why these dynasties with grips on parties in Kenya will cannot even be overthrown.
Raila attempted to overthrow Wamalwa from Ford-K but he couldn’t, imagine Raila being unable to overthrow Wamalwa? Even if it were Martha Karua of Narc Kenya, its just a tall order if you were to follow the due process. Coz Narc K delegates, if any are her delegates. And to get rid of her, you need them and so on and so forth.
Even the US Democratic Party, or the Republican parties aren’t democratic. Its not democratic because if you don’t vote with the party on important issues you are kicked out. What people should look for are not whether a party is democratic, but to what degree a party tolerates dissent. Actually the more democratic a party is, the more doom it faces.
Parties if democratic in the manner you understand democracy by universal suffrage; they cannot survive. Not in this world. You wonna know why?
Like free masonry, or mainstream churches, parties are a larger form of sorority organizations. You gotta believe in it. Its about belief in the parties’ ideals. So the more of the ideals of that party you espouse, the more “shares” and entitlement you have to the party. The higher in the party hierarchy or oligarchy if you like you get entitled to rise. Thats why it doesn’t matter how good you are, if your loyalty is questioned, you cant win in a party election.
The majority shareholder is the ideological leader of that party. Which means to become the ideological leader of a party, a.k.a The Party Leader, you gotta stand for something around which others will coalesce.
Delegates tend or should be the super-loyal members of the party and who will, even out of sight, not betray the ideals of the party. They wont badmouth the party and its leader under any circumstances including in the secrecy of their bedrooms.
Delegates are like those who you call wazee wa kanisa who never betray the man of God but reserve the power to kick him out if they feel he has betrayed the ideals of the Church. Like the Embu pastor who was caught misusing tithe in Karatina. Ask Thambo Mbeki, he was kicked out through very undemocratic means.
Joe Lieberman after endorsing John McCain was sidelined by his party and was eventually kicked out in the subsequent election in a Democratic Party stronghold of Connecticut.
Delegates are the custodians of party ideals. The loyalty of the delegates should not be to the leader of the party but to the ideals of the party..but given that the holder of that Party Leader office espouses a gold standard of those ideals, people tend to; like they do with Dr . Owuor, get close to worshiping that party leader.
So you see parties are closer to churches more than any other institution. They are vehicles through which political belief systems are executed and channeled.
It is therefore fool-hardly for anyone to demand democracy in a party. Tell me where there’s a democratic church. Not a single one. Churches are actually dictatorships, but because the members are united by a religious bond, they are blinded by faith from seeing those dictatorial tendencies.
We all know from Catholic history, that when the Pope speaks ex-cathedra or issues encyclicals they are actually called infallible truths. The Humana vitae decreed by Pope Paul VI (but authored secretly by sycophant Carol Wojtyla- later Pope John Paul II) banned contraceptives, was one such dictatorial proclamation by a church…
The Humana vitae has remained unquestioned by the church and has remained a matter of intense debate for close to 5 decades. And the Catholic Church thrives due to a leadership that is “ruthless in how it disciplines dissenting bishops and high-ranking faithful.” That’s why its the model of how a political party ought to be run. Anyone intent on starting and running a successful and vibrant party should read the Papal history.
It is that history that parties learn to expel members who don’t toe the line. Because like churches ex-communicate to maintain the integrity of the House of God, so will parties expel to safeguard the ideal of the party. And just like churches excommunicate, parties are also very right when they expel rebels who oppose the party position.
And so in conclusion, for ODM to get its groove back, it doesn’t need to be democratic, you cannot hold fair and democratic elections and survive. What if delegates were to elect all Luo officials? Or all officials from Coast? You know what I mean. There would be a mass exodus from the party. Also how do you ensure gender equality, and regional balance through a fair process? Or what if delegates decide to vote in an entire disloyal line-up? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s not a fair way to do that. Only an unfair process of giving delegates a party list.
TNA is the most undemocratic-ally managed party in Kenya, and it has some semblance of peace. And lets call a spade a spade, ODM the most democratic party in Kenya today, tends to have chaos, whenever there’s a national process going on for the party. That is why the party hierarchy needs to re-calibrate itself, and the standard is the Vatican model of a human-faced “intolerance to dissent”.

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LOVE POEMS

I COULD BUT LOVE YOU*

The days gone by hold memories

So much of all those nice stories

Stories of our lives thereafter

Punctuated by your sweet laughter



Walking, talking under the starlit sky

Smiling silently without knowing why

Silent though we got so much to say

Assured that tomorrow would be okay



I love you so much my sweetheart

Like the abundance of sand in a desert

So is my love for you, so real and true

I want to live forever just for you



In the horizon the sun's just turned red

And my tomorrow is but a dread

If by your own, you won't be there

I will die, there won't be any air



*THE AMAZING FEELING*

The buzz of the phone beckons you attention

It's the love of your life trying to reach you

Friends have gotten tired of their mention

Their presence in this world gets you through

Long and stressful days just as the nights

On dark nights they are the light



It's an amazing feeling to find true love

It carries you way beyond imaginable lands

Swifter than the carrier doves

Infinite but it can fit in your hands

The amazing feeling of true adoration

Surpasses everything worth admiration



*BEHIND YOUR EYES*

Sometimes am caught in a day dream

Dreaming of a dream I live everyday

It's been like this since I saw you

You beauty enslaved my imagination

The glitter in your eyes captured me



Every morning I wake up

It's your pretty face that's my alarm

Telling to rise up to see you

You are a true meaning of perfection

Forever I will be glad that are in my life



I wanna have your heart forever

Coz I've given you mine

Do the best with that you can

For you are so perfect

This love is the realest of al I've known



*I SEE ME IN YOUR EYES*

Like rose petals in the morning bloom

You sweep my feet off the ground

And I fly, fly like little bird making no sound

Am flying to get a kiss from you

Your embrace, the next best thing

After the gearless all night embrace

I see the meaning of life in your eyes

I see me and you skin to skin every night

I see life unfolding in your eyes

I see love-true love



*IMMUNE TO HEARTACHE *

I'm staring at the emptiness you absence accords me

It's like all those days when I could fantasies about you

My breath being taken away by what I could see

But your absence is forever, I hoped you were true



I didn't think there would be a day when I could ask you to stay

And that would be asking too much of your precious time

Now I struggle to go through my days trying to keep you at bay

Often I fail, every time, coz forgetting you feels inhumane- a crime



For once in my life I realized what it means to be in love

It means to wait for someone to break your heart while holding on

It means being immune to all things that fall from above

Coz that may hold you from going on straight from dawn